Hikaru Utada Was Frequently Messed with by Her Mother’s Unpredictable Words and Behavior
My mother was the kind of person with intense behavior, and I was taken into her life. My mother was always sticking in my mind during my childhood.
One day, Hikaru Utada was talking about her past and her mother in a music talk show on TV. “When I think the world is like this now, there was always a chance of everything overturned in 0.5 seconds. That was a normal thing for me.” She said that she had kept messed with by her mother’s unpredictable words and behavior.
It was just as same as my situation. During my childhood, my school days, after marriage, after giving birth to my children, and even while raising my children, I was under my mother’s spell.
There’s No Trauma. You Determined Not to Change.
But finally, I had a chance to get out of my mother’s spell. I had an encounter with my big benefactor who gave me self-confidence.
What would have happened if I didn’t meet this big benefactor? Well, I surely think that I had another chance to get out of my mother’s spell on my own as I am like now.
According to psychologist Alfred Adler, there’s no trauma. People are making a decision of “not to change.” They are choosing misfortune on their own because they don’t have the courage to change and making things in the past as cause.
I Was Finally Able to Have the Courage to Change When I Become Older
I think we need bigger courage to “change” when we are young. In elementary school, junior high school, high school, university, and also as a working adult, we always need to live in a group of people and build relationships with them. If you want to “change,” you have to keep away from people dangerous for you and protect yourself. That is sometimes very lonely, and you need strong courage to do that. It’s a few times easier to be similar to others and keep things as are now.
I think I’m now able to have the courage to live a simple life because I became older. I gradually became better on choosing people or things that are really important for me, and truly cherish things that are important for me. And avoid or throw away things that are dangerous for me. I believe that people who went through many kinds of experience can do decluttering with their own beliefs.
Filial Piety Is a Training for Me
Now, I think that practicing filial piety for my mother is a training assigned to my life and I sometimes take my mother for a trip or go back to my parent’s home to make her feel happy. Why I say that filial piety is “a training” for me is because spending time with my mother is really “asceticism” for me. My mother still has intense behavior and I feel very furious many times when I’m with her.
My mother was an absolute existence for a long time for me, but I can truly say that I’m able to see my mother as one miserable person now. I think I can practice filial piety for my mother because I can see my mother as an existence like that now.
Maybe, Hikaru Utada was also able to separate with herself that was taken into her mother’s life and now she’s able to see her mother objectively as one miserable person. I feel that she is now decisive and determined to express her honest feelings to her mother in her songs.
I’m really looking forward to seeing her creative work in the future.
Translation from Japanese to English by picolisco